


The Talk

by HiMiTSu



Series: Kurofai Week 2016 [6]
Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Crack, Day 6: Mommy and Daddy, F/M, Humor, Kurofai Week 2016, M/M, post-manga
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 10:24:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8529448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiMiTSu/pseuds/HiMiTSu
Summary: Kurofai Week 2016. Day 6: Mommy and DaddyThe kids have grown up.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place somewhere post-manga in a vague future. Years later. But I put a undeage warning just in case.
> 
> This is closer to crack than humor.

There was a shout. Kurogane would have been worried if it wasn’t ridiculously high pitched and also consisted of three voices merged together. Even distorted like that he could recognize the voices easily. Mokona glanced at him from her place on the table, more amused than concerned. As soon as they heard footsteps on the stairs she bounced to the floor.

“Well, I’m off!” She shouted happily and rushed in the direction of her room.

The house they were staying in was big enough even for Mokona to have her own place, which was ridiculous if you asked Kurogane, but at least the pork bun wouldn’t be getting in his and Fai’s way that night. It was a perfect little vacation they set up for themselves. They stopped by Clow country and with Toya’s permission, which they dragged from behind his teeth by a lot of cajoling and needling, picked Sakura up for a prolonged trip. They got a good world for a vacation on a second try – a beautiful small town with a lake full of sparkling blue water and a forest of massive trees anywhere the eye could see. It was peaceful and very lovely. Using gold as universal payment, they managed to rent a house a little way from the city. Far enough to provide some privacy but still a manageable walk away from the town square.   

It was perfect.

Of course, with them, perfect never lasted for longer than a couple of hours. Kurogane was surprised they lasted as long as they did.

Wanting to prolong the calm for just a few moments, Kurogane leaned back in his comfortable chair by the fire and waited for the problem to come to him. Frantic footsteps on the stairs grew louder as Fai bundled down to the first floor. It was not like him to make so much noise just by walking, but usually so light-footed Fai was obviously too befuddled to be careful. He crashed into the room, eyes wide and face flushed. Kurogane had never actually seen his cheeks this red.

He stopped a few steps from Kurogane’s chair and gaped like a fish.

“What?”

“S-s-sakura-chan…” He stuttered, voice pitched high.

There was a thump from upstairs but no one else followed the blond.

Fai clumped both hands over his mouth. It looked like he wasn’t breathing.

“Hey, hey,” Kurogane got out of his chair at that point and tugged his hands back. “Breathe. Is it bad?”

“Unthinkable.” Fai breathed out with a shake of his head.

Kurogane looked up with a frown; he knew nothing life-threatening was actually happening but Fai’s reaction was actually starting to worry him. “Mage!” He shook the man by his shoulders.

“Shaoran-kun!” The blond suddenly shouted right in Kurogane’s face. “I saw Shaoran-kun and Sakura-chan…” He stopped abruptly, gulping for air.

Kurogane didn’t like where this was going.

“They were upstairs.”

“Yeah,” Kurogane scoffed. “You went to check up on the Princess.”

“Sh-shaoran-kun was there.” Fai squeezed his eyes shut as if trying to suppress the memory. Then he rushed his next sentence as quickly as possible and with too much force behind every word. “He was there. With his hand underneath Sakura’s skirt. On. Her. Knee!”

Kurogane flinched at the intensity of that scream. Fai’s face was blotched red again, his wild eyes scandalized.

“What?” Kurogane’s mind painted a picture helpfully but he wiped it out forcefully. Thought about blood and torture for a good measure. And then tried to think logically. “They are grown-ups now.”

Fai gave a pained whimper. “They are just kids.” He said pitifully. But that wasn’t quite right. It had been a long time since their first journey ended, years had passed and both the kids had matured. It was hard to see them as anything other than those lost children they were when Kurogane had first met them. Fai pushing them, the only two adults in the group, in the roles of parents didn’t help his perception. He wasn’t complaining, happy now with this strange family, but this was a situation he never saw coming. Apparently, Fai didn’t either.

He weakened his grip on Fai and slid his hands up to rest on his shoulders, comforting. “They are older now.” He said reasonably. “They are…going to be interested in things like that.” He pushed the words out, feeling a flush of embarrassment rise to his cheeks as well.

Another whimper tore from Fai’s throat. “They are just kids.” He repeated helplessly.

“Not anymore.” Kurogane insisted. “It’s…alright.” It wasn’t in his head, but it seemed like the good thing to say. The kids were probably as mortified as the mage right at that moment and that should keep them away from each other for at least a couple of days. It should give him and Fai some time to think.

“We should talk to them.”

“Yes, sure.” That sounded like a sane idea, finally.

“We should forbid them from ever touching again!”

Oh no, back on the crazy train…

“Fai,” he kept his tone level. “Fai. Be reasonable.”

“That’s reasonable,” the blond protested sulkily.

“You wanted them to be happy together remember?”

“Yeah, but not like that. Just been sweet and shy and holding hands.”

Kurogane should have known it would turn out this way. After all the mage didn’t even let the kids have one small kiss before Shaoran left Clow that first time. Kurogane should have nicked that mother-hen behavior in the bud.

“We should talk to them,” Kurogane said imploringly. “But just to make sure…” He felt the words stick to the roof of his mouth but he pushed on through the embarrassment. “They are…safe.”

Fai’s eyes widened; it would have been comical but Kurogane was in no mood for laughing. The blond shook his head frantically. “No, no, no, no, no.”

“Fai!” Kurogane had to shake him again to make him stop rambling and pay attention. Honestly, if he didn’t have to keep the blond sane at that moment he would have lost it too. “Just…sit down.” He practically shoved the magician in the chair and grabbed him a glass of wine; unfortunately, this place didn’t have anything else. They should probably make a trip to the town for something stronger – they will definitely need it. Wine would not be enough to wipe the picture from Fai’s mind.

“I know this is unexpected, but we knew this will happen eventually.”

“They are too young for this,” Fai still protested after he gulped down the whole glass. Kurogane refilled it readily.

“Well, they are probably not…” Finishing this sentence must be the hardest thing he would ever do in his life. “Not going all the way.” He swallowed the ‘yet’. He needed to calm Fai down, not turn him homicidal.

Fai chocked on his next swallow of wine and spluttered. “Of course not! They are sweet innocent children.”

“Not children anymore.” Kurogane reminded. When it looked like Fai was about to protest Kurogane pushed on the bottom of the glass so the rim pressed to his lips. The blond took the hint and drunk. “We need to be good parenting figures here.” He never had to say that out loud before. “And have a proper talk about consent and protection.” He had learned so many clever new words when Tomoyo had found out about him and Fai. That was one conversation Kurogane hoped but struggled to forget. Looked like the number of those was going to spike up to three.

“Haven’t you…” Kurogane waved his hand helplessly. “Didn’t you have any kind of talk like this with that blonde girl?” He struggled to recall a name. “Chii?”

“Chii?” Fai’s surprise was genuine.

There went Kurogane’s hopes for at least one of them having some experience in the area.

“Chii didn’t need that.” Fai’s face turned into a frown of confusion “I mean why would she…She wasn’t…She didn’t have….” He took a gulp of his wine instead of finishing that sentence. Kurogane was grateful. But also annoyed. He should have known – leave it to Fai to create a sexless magical girl.

“Alright.” Kurogane concluded. “We can deal with this.”

Fai bit his lip but didn’t say anything. Then, reluctantly, he nodded. The alcohol must have worked. “This is unbelievable.” He muttered.

“Tell me about it,” Kurogane echoed his tone. “Should we…talk about this right now?”

“We are talking about it.” Fai frowned into his empty glass.

Kurogane sent him a flat look. “With the kids.”

“No.” Fai shook his head furiously. “Later.”

“Will that be alright?” Kurogane frowned.

“They were so embarrassed they will not be interested in sex for a while.”

Kurogane flinched at Fai’s blandness but agreed.

“Moreover, Mokona had snuck up while you were talking me down. I’m sure she will…oh, I don’t know,” he waved his hand. “Calm them down? Have this talk with them for us?”

“I doubt that,” Kurogane scoffed.

Fai sighed, long and heavy, and slumped back in the chair. He handed Kurogane the glass. “Then we drink.” He smiled sardonically. “The kids had finally grown up.”

**Author's Note:**

> The Chii bit is a nod to Chobits, but it's also kind of slowly becoming my headcanon for a couple of different reasons.


End file.
